Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hungry Eyes Excerpt.

I changed my mind... I just couldn't wait to post this.

The name of my very first novel is... Hungry Eyes. 

I know it's a short excerpt, but when I post the prologue and the full length excerpt. It will all make more sense.

Keep in mind, I'm still on my very first draft of my novel.

I know it’s her, I’m positive. Her skin is ice cold; her finger tips tremble with every single touch. She puts her hands across my chest. She is here, with me. I gasp for breath, I search for words to say, but my mind is dispersed. I feel as if someone broke into my brain, and stole my ability to think straight. My tongue is completely numb. My lips are frozen, literally and figuratively. She comes closer, and puts her head upon my shoulder. She whispers into my ear.

            “You’re still here Caden, your heart’s still beating. I’ll take care of you.”

            I hear her voice and part of me shakes. I knew it was her, but it’s almost as if a part of me had no idea. She whispered those words into my ear like a widow saying goodbye to her beloved husband. I could feel the pain from within her voice. 

I try and speak, I mumble out a couple sounds…

            “I, I, mm, I’m…”

I move my tongue, and my lips quiver with pain, but the words just won’t come out. I can feel her eyes, they’re glued to me, and I wish I could gaze into them, but right now I can't. I cannot see anything, except for the insides of my swollen eyelids. The pain is unbearable, but that's not what concerns me. I don’t know where we are, or how we got here. Right now, I am only sure of one thing: he is still out there.  He’s not going to stop searching for us. I’m not in the right state, physically or mentally, to be able to protect her, but I know exactly what needs to be done. Hiding isn’t an option. I can’t run, at least not at this moment I can’t. I’m too weak to defend either of us. We both know what comes next, but neither of us will admit it to each other. She lies beside me, and it kills me that I can’t see her.

I am not alive, nor am I dead. I am simply here, lying next to a girl who is closer to death than I ever have been. This is saying something, considering six weeks ago I was clinically dead. My name is Caden Thompson, and this is my story. 

Just a sneak peak, for right now. Comment and let me know what you think of my excerpt for my very first novel Hungry Eyes.


  1. I loved this excerpt. I could feel the iciness and fear. I cannot wait to read more! Great job! You kept me captivated.

  2. I like how I misspelled a word while telling everyone to comment.

    comment ON... not or.

    Thank you so much! It means a lot. This story is a couple years in the works and I'm so stoked to finally release an excerpt for it.

  3. Hmmm...not a bad start! I only worry about Caden's line of thought. At first, you say it is hard to think but then he goes on to be more coherent within his own mind. I'm sure it will make more sense with more to go off of. Good Job!

  4. Now I'm dying to know who he is and who she is and who that other BAD guy is. I want to know more!

    1. I am hoping to post a longer excerpt and a prologue sooner rather than later. Just minor editing and little things. I just want to be positive it's all right before I release more.

    2. Well you got me! My curiosity is going to drive me nuts now!!! I want to know more? Their story, who they are? Why he's in pain? Why? Why? Why?... :)